1. |
Dynamic Tension
02:33
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Why go outside to meet the girl I like
and suffer heartbreak from the rejection?
I won't have to deal with any of that
from the environs of my teenage bedroom
Red oil-based gloss paint
and Anaglypta on the walls
Covered in A4 sheets of lyrics
and a poster of Niagara Falls
If you saw me at the beach one day
I'm sure you'd kick sand right in my face
I'm basically the before model in the ad
for Dynamic Tension
My broken body still supports my pot belly
and my arms flow like a noodle
I can't help being a chinless freak
who looks like a Who from Whoville
Can't even hide behind the music I make
for my lack of physical exersion
It's good in my book if you like the way you look
but I've never been that kind of person
If you saw me at the beach one day
I'm sure you'd kick sand right in my face
I'm basically the before model in the ad
for Dynamic Tension
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2. |
Fix Your Heart Or Die
02:26
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Our core can be so blind
To what we are assigned
Some people have to learn to match up
Outside with inside
Those clown comics have to try
To fix their hearts or die
Fix your heart or die
A good heart is more than just tissue
But yours is only sinew
Another way to show the world
You don't have a decent bone in you
Fix your heart or die
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3. |
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NASA boffins are hard at work
Deciphering the things you do
I'm surrounded by idiots
At least I'm aware that I am one too
If you've been to university
It doesn't mean you can't be dense
It must be hard for you to pick a side
From that position on the fence
It's not my fault you're stupid
It's not my fault you're stupid
It's not my fault
You're too stupid to see I'm stupid too
It's not my fault you're stupid
It's not my fault you're stupid
It's not my fault
You're too stupid to see I'm stupider than you
Every day I'm confronted by
The people who know it all
I'm in the gutter because I know I'm dumb
The writing is on the wall
I expect nothing from you
So what do you want from me?
I'll admit I'm wrong, you'll double down
Let's leave each other be
It's not my fault you're stupid
It's not my fault you're stupid
It's not my fault
You're too stupid to see I'm stupid too
It's not my fault you're stupid
It's not my fault you're stupid
It's not my fault
You're too stupid to see I'm stupid too
It's not my fault you're stupid
It's not my fault you're stupid
It's not my fault
You're too stupid to see I'm stupid too
It's not my fault you're stupid
It's not my fault you're stupid
It's not my fault
You're too stupid to see I'm stupider than
You are looking to go
Buy binoculars to
See I'm stupider than you
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4. |
Flop
01:33
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Did you hope one day I might not be a flop
Waste my life in the way you approve
Not be such an embarrassment to you
Well, beauty's more important than conflict
Failure? I don't even know you
I don't know anything else either
Should've learned some skills when I had the chance
Pogo on your grave because I don't really know how to dance
I'm a flop!
Did you hope one day I might not be a flop
Be what I was intended to be
Once it was the year of the ox
Never been a good year for me
Failure? I don't even know you
I don't know anything else either
Should've learned some skills when I had the chance
Pogo on your grave because I don't really know how to dance
I'm a flop!
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5. |
Where’s My Ivor Novello?
04:02
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As much as I would like to
I'll never set the world alight
My legacy is an unheard scream into a digital void
Late night vagrant
Best to look away for your own sake
Who wants to pay for a digital download?
& it's hard to even get an FM foothold
Perhaps my songs are too throwaway
Even for a throwaway world
Where's my Ivor Novello?
In my mind I'm Scott Walker
And my weird doom gives you a lift
In my mind I'm Lee Hazlewood
It comes out all wrong but you get my drift
No idea what I'm doing but I don't let it stop me
I'll leave a sizeable back catalogue
But I'll leave no money
Where's my Ivor Novello?
Maybe when I'm dead
My kids will be impressed
But for now I'm not weird enough for the weirdos
& not straight enough for the rest
Am I boring? Who cares!
I'm not even at my best!
But I keep on
So where's my Ivor Novello?
I said, where's my Ivor Novello?
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6. |
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I want to open for Gina Birch
In a theatre or a church
I could even run the merch stand
If I opened for Gina Birch
On Gina's tour
I'd treasure that forevermore
I like The Raincoats and The Hangovers
So I would love it on Gina's tour
I'd drive us round the country
Dover to Pontefract
Try my best to be funny
And be a good opening act
For Gina Birch
I want to open for Gina Birch
I want to open for Gina Birch
I want to open for Gina Birch
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7. |
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How can I
Make you alert
To my presence
Or my name on a shirt
I want to impress you
But you loathe me
All I want is for you to
Award me a trophy
So that maybe I'll feel
Deserving
Maybe I'll feel
Worthy
Maybe I'll feel
Like a real person
Maybe
Maybe I'll feel
Like Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink
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8. |
Forget The Past #11
01:03
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Why did you give me a name that means strong?
Were you being sarcastic or did you just get it wrong?
Or were you trying to show me
Preemptively, how you'll never know me?
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9. |
Astro Turf
01:02
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Why would you astro turf your lawn?
Why would you plasticise all the ground that you walk on?
What sort of drug are you on?
Why would you astro turf your lawn?
Why would you astro turf your lawn?
What will become of all the creatures thereon?
No tweet of blackbird at dawn
Why would you astro turf your lawn?
Why would you astro turf your lawn?
Water table peril when East Anglia's gone
What species of bee will you mourn?
Why would you astro turf your lawn?
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10. |
Maximum Break
01:15
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147, that's my blood pressure
Something else I don't measure
Seek validation
Acquire hypertension
Maximum break
Maximum breaking point
I am aware
I get dumber and uglier each year
It's called growth
But go ahead and lie to yourself
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11. |
Louche Christmas
02:17
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My conversation is like a locked groove
Over and over, I say the same thing
A pound in the jukebox that lasts five pints
You'll feel drained when you go home tonight
I didn't mean to bore you
It's been a while since I saw you
Please, I implore you
To listen to my story
For a while
I am the worst of George Bailey
I'm at the top of the ancient belfry
And so to no one at all, I pray
The pavement's never looked so grey
And then I remember
I don't want it to be December
If next year's worse than the one before
I'm going out in a fireball
This time it's time for a louche Christmas
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12. |
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13. |
I Am White Noise
01:23
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I am a booth at a convention
I can't command your attention
The low hanging fruit jumps out at you
So I fail to get a mention
I don't deserve your time
Like sour grapes on the vine
Our opinions differed on what might be considered
Ethereal or sublime
Do I want your attention or not?
I can't be sure
I am white noise in a sea of talentless men who can sing
Slightly better than me
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